Thursday, August 26th 2010

Today, I take back my honesty.  This time for good.  We all need to do different things to swim, as a fish in water, because we are not the same.  Those who best understand and accept this fundamental difference enjoy a certain peaceful contentment that other rarely (and some never) experience.  I have found and lost it so many time, I could never keep track… but this time is different because I know what I must do in order to BE HONEST and STAY HONEST.

I can be the certain ‘fish’ that I was born to be and create the environment around me at the same time.  What the future entails and how this works are only slightly understood, but that is enough.  I know because I’ve done it, and undone it and done it again enough times to discover certain… rhythm.  An ever-changing pattern of ever-changing groove that is mine alone.  Paying attention to it is how I swim.  It’s how I PLAY!

Sometimes it fits with the patterns of others.  And we play, and they remind me how to play when I get distracted and lose the rhythm.  Sometimes it doesn’t fit by conventional means, but we play anyway and I learn from the offbeat; adding to my repertoire.  Some don’t want to come close enough to try and others get too close, constantly trying to drown me out with their dominating volume.  But I can’t stop.  I won’t stop anymore.

Not when it’s worth this much to be alive today.

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~ by lindseywhitemusic on March 11, 2012.

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