Even in This

•May 4, 2017 • Leave a Comment

5/2/17

I’ll just hang out here in the vicinity of hope

Because it’s there that I tried to feel the most alive

Because I haven’t died

and besides…

it could be that all of the ways I’ve learned to cope

were leading me somewhere I wouldn’t have

otherwise arrived.

There is value in today as there was in yesterday.

There is value even in this.

Scientific Courage

•April 28, 2017 • Leave a Comment

4/27/2017

Just a glimpse and you’ll know what it’s like.

To live as thought everything is an experiment, as all children do and as you once did.

But old wounds open wide to receive what is needed for them to heal well; some who observe do not see and others don’t need to see to understand.

So when the experiment takes a turn, when things grow in ways and places that are less than desirable, when things cannot be moved despite effort and strength… how do you see?

You may choose any number of perspectives, but if you only examine one, are you really choosing?  Can you call yourself experimental?

With the same presence, ease, trust and acceptance as your infancy, progress waits for your readiness and willingness to exercise your most valuable ability to try again.

Old Hands

•April 12, 2017 • Leave a Comment

April 10, 2017

My hands felt old today. But just days ago they found reasons to reach for, grasp and play with new things with all the eagerness of a child. I felt unrestricted and carefree [despite obvious risk] and dared to consider that life may end later, rather than sooner.  So I busied my fingers with curiosity more than care, with making more than fixing and expression without consideration of it’s inconvenience.

That wasn’t the feeling of today;

it might be the tone of tomorrow.

First, the undoing of an old knot must include full breaths into collapsed lungs… bottom to top, top to bottom and inside out. Circulation into cold limbs; masks removed by expansion through the allowing of grief. Crumbling debris of defensive wounds, encumbered desire and obstructed energy must be handled with care or they won’t fall off.

But if they do there are such opportunities,

endless possibilities that any degree of renewal can bring.

Conduit

•April 4, 2017 • Leave a Comment

A new-ish song about the strange and beautiful process of passing through:

Conduit

It’s been said that we are made of stardust

Stars don’t exist to make sense of the darkness

But we’re in the dark, where even a spark can appear so blinding

Some say that we’re animals at our best

All our weakness is part of our uniqueness

And we’re here to thrive, not just to survive and spend all of our time analyzing

You can’t help but be a conduit for

whatever is moving through

It will find it’s way out,

But/And no one can recognize it but you

If we learn how to allow our power

we’ll stand up on two feet instead of cower

and give up the fight,

abandon the struggle between wrong and right

You can’t help but be a conduit for

whatever is moving through

It will find it’s way out,

But/And no one can recognize it but you

Stars are ghosts – they’re just old light

no longer alive, but you and only you get to

choose what kind of ghost you want to be;

how do you want to be seen before you burn out… like all the other ghosts burn out

(but you’re still here right now)

You can’t help but be a conduit for

whatever is moving through

It will find it’s way out…

You can’t help but be a conduit for

whatever is moving through

It will find it’s way out,

But/And no one can recognize it…

and no one else gets to feel it, to live it…

like you do.

Pipe Layer

•March 30, 2017 • Leave a Comment

3/29/2017

Last year’s pipes clogged, burst and no good could come from them anymore.  Their removal was heavy and agonizingly tedious; piece by piece they have been set free, drained and replaced.

No other builder knows the procedure, though they might understand the process.  And no one who comes into contact with what the new pipes allow will think twice about how they came to be.

But it doesn’t matter.

Because pipes are only the beginning.

This year’s blueprints are more than walls, stone and doorways under a roof.  What is being built is lasting change, memories that live on and opportunity as far as they eye can see.  And so it is with unbelievable prospects (that may one day be believed) that new pipes came to be – out of sight, but not quite out of mind until surrounded by ground.  The earth covered by layers that once were “make believe”, but refuse to stay that way.

Reflections On Becoming (and Being) a Strong Woman

•March 9, 2017 • Leave a Comment

3/8/17

Reflections On Becoming (and Being) a Strong Woman

(For women on International Women’s Day.)

It was a gradual acceptance of “my own” being as important as his or hers – desires, opinions, preferences and even fears.  An understanding of the responsibility of choice, honesty and amplification.  A realization that to be in my own skin is an incredible experience shared only with myself; only the deepest “I” knows what really goes on in there and gets to decide what happens outside. (And to the “out” side.)

It is a refreshing joy to learn more of more and more opportunity, connection, quality on the other side of letting go.  Of becoming real.  And to see in the way I wish to be seen provides opportunities for newness, growth and healing; paints us all out of our corners, advances us into creativity and takes back a certain collective power not previously yielded in the same way.  And when I can’t… I no longer waste time in the direction of opposing energy but learn to love myself again, to ask for what is needed and in doing so, celebrate

our strength.

Unearned and Deserved

•February 21, 2017 • Leave a Comment

unearned-deserved

2/19/17

An urge to rewrite wrongs came on strong, like a tidal wave of distraction.

And words observed, but not really heard prompted overly frustrated reaction.

But the seeds of change began to germinate, sprouting leaves of still more learning;

generosity without reciprocity is kindness received, but not without earning.

Love cannot be so without fully letting go and opening wider to let in.

For only when in this state can we begin to offer a powerful response from within.

Though the past contains truth, it’s not the direction we move and not as real as it may seem.

There is only one way and it’s name is today: the gradual embrace of a dream.

 
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