March 18, 2011

It’s not that it doesn’t work as much as it’s just not working now.

But the questions surrounding that argument are far too many to ever answer and still I can’t stop asking.  My insatiable hunger for the TRUTH won’t allow the stream of questions to end; only slow down at best.  Right now the “hows” and “whys” are the loudest and most repetitive – slowed only by signposts of objection.

-> This is a bad time!

I didn’t sign up for this! ->

->This is too much for me to handle!

I can’t!  I can’t!  I can’t! ->

I’ve run so many miles in the direction of “I can” that I know the way by heart.

And yet…

The disappointment that lands on my shoulders when my “I cans” only lead to more questions is heavy.

And then there are the “maybes”, who always show up when they’re the most unwelcome (uninvited) and never LEAVE…

Maybe wandering is the answer.

Maybe stopping is the answer.

Maybe I need some perspective.


So I’m standing on my head, this time until it explodes, and I’m letting it BE one more time.  And as the world breaks and shifts and rearranges itself around me, tiny little “ifs” rain down in all directions.


~ by lindseywhitemusic on April 11, 2011.

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